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Fox to air new special: Who wants to marry a physicist?
One lucky bachelor, pictured above, will get to select his future bride from among the throng of women who are dying to meet him. "We literally had thousands of people call in to try to get on the show" said a Fox spokesperson. "That is, until we explained to them that a physicist was some sort of scientist, and not an expert physical therapist. We still have two or three people who might consider showing up just to be on television though."
We had a chance to ask Carlos if he was looking forward to meeting the girl of his dreams. After explaining to him what a girl was, he seemed excited to meet one of these "boys with long hair."
The producers are hoping this show will raise important questions such as "Seriously, who wants to marry a physicist?"
Top Stories:
Search for missing six dimensions continues
Modern physicist now believe that there are ten dimensions to our world rather than the usual four (three space and one time). The missing dimensions, which are required to unite relativity and quantum mechanics, have yet to be detected though. "I was sure I put them in my pocket before going to the store, but now I can't find them," (more)
Perfect 0.0/4.0 GPA maintained
No rain expected in room
Atheist boy finds only tears under Christmas tree
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Search for missing six dimensions continues
Modern physicist now believe that there are ten dimensions to our world rather than the usual four (three space and one time). The missing dimensions, which are required to unite relativity and quantum mechanics, have yet to be detected though."I was sure I put them in my pocket before going to the store, but now I can't find them," said Carlos, a second year graduate student in physics.
While most of the labs and offices have been thoroughly searched, no one has ventured to the "outside world" to look for the missing dimensions. "We've heard rumors of non-physics people on the 'outside,' and so naturally we are concerned," explained an anonymous graduate student, "but these missing dimension are sufficiently important to even risk exposure to daylight."
Perfect 0.0/4.0 GPA maintained
Once again this term, Carlos has managed to avoid any courses requiring grades thus maintaining his perfect 0.0 average. In this special interview Carlos comments on this astounding accomplishment:TCT: "How does it feel to have achieved a 0.0?"
C: "Absolutely wonderful. All my life I've tried to achieve perfection, but somehow it has always eluded me. Now, I've finally reached my lifelong goal."
TCT: "Isn't 0.0 the worst GPA possible? Wouldn't it be better to take one easy graded course and get an A?"
C: "But all my terms of 0.0 would look bad next to the 4.0, so it is clearly not perfection"
TCT: "Did your new found freedom from grades give you more free time for out of school activities such as your social life?"
C: "er... a social what?"
TCT: "OK. That's all the time we have. Thank you for your answers and good luck with the rest of your er... life."
No rain expected in room
Todays forecast for Carlos' room: warm and artificially lit with a 0% chance of rain. "This weather reminds me of yesterday's weather, and the one of the day before," commented Carlos, "I'm so glad I moved to Californian to enjoy such a perfect weather."
The weather forecast for the nearby kitchen is similar, but expect showers during the morning in the bathroom area.
Atheist boy finds only tears under Christmas tree
Once again this year, I was disappointed to find no presents for me under the Christmas tree. Why does Santa hate me so? Haven't I been a good boy all year? All I asked for was that girl from the latest Bond film. You know, the nuclear physicist (appropriately named Christmas Jones).
I don't understand what happened. Just because I don't believe in God doesn't mean I don't believe in presents! And yet, the only thing in my socks on Christmas morning was some old mold. I checked every single dirty sock in my hamper and not a gift in sight...
So if you're reading this and would like to help, feel free to send me as many gifts as possible. Cash is also acceptable, especially large sums. Remember that Christmas is the season of giving, the more you give the better a person you are. Thank you and may Santa bless you.